**FAQ: PARENTS**

Q: By teaching abstinence, aren't you ignoring the need for education about contraceptives for those teens who are sexually active?

A: Prevention efforts can be categorized into three levels:

• Primary: The focus of root causes of the epidemic,
• Secondary: Moving sexually active teens out of sexual behavior whenever possible, and
• Tertiary: The last line of defense of risk reduction- providing temporary risk reductive measures.

The ATM Program is a primary prevention strategy. Discussion regarding information about birth control is utilized in secondary and tertiary efforts. It is our recommendation that when birth control is discussed at these other levels that it meet the following criteria:

1. Should be presented in the public schools in a context of marriage and family to encourage committed relationships.

2. Secondary and tertiary prevention should be conducted one-on-one using full disclosure of contraceptive failure rates within a medical cessation model for sexually active teens, and providing the ideal of abstinence until marriage, and fidelity within marriage as the only truly safe sex.

3. Factors such as adult teen relationships and past sexual abuse should not be blindly condoned by irresponsibly distributing contraceptives with the message of "just use a condom or make sure you're protected."

The question is not "if", but when, how and by whom. Adults have the responsibility to tell teens the truth. Condoms are not fool proof and do not always provide adequate risk reduction for diseases spread by skin-to-skin contact such as Human Papilloma Virus, Herpes or Syphllis. Multiple partners are the primary risk factor spreading disease. If teens make other choices, they will be responsible for the consequences. We must be ethical in our response to the younger generation, and not perpetuate unhealthy, uncommitted adult or teen sexual relationships.

Q: But abstinence until marriage is unrealistic. Aren't you ignoring the reality of premarital sex?

A: One twelve year old girl approached a speaker after an abstinence presentation. She was upset about the recent break-up of a relationship with an older boy. She said she had sex with the boy for over a year, and was experiencing emotional pain from the break-up. The speaker asked her if her mother had talked to her about sexuality. The girl responded by saying "yes, she told me to wait until I was really in love and he was really special."

Based on her experiences, this twelve year old girl followed her mother’s advice. While we are well aware of the fact some people will not remain chaste until marriage, marriage provides a concrete ideal for children to work toward and provides time for them to develop fully, until as adults they have the ability to make sound and healthy choices about love and relationships. We know that behavior will fall somewhere slightly below the standard. The ideal of abstinence until marriage sets expectations that will raise the level of behavior for society. We do a disservice to teens by withholding ideals because some people can't, don't or won't get married.

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